Trouble Getting Dates?…Try Haggling

19 04 2008

Note: At the suggestion of a reader I am splitting the post into two separate pieces.  Stay tuned for 10 Steps to Haggling!

When I was younger I had very low self esteem, there was no reason for me to be shy and scared to talk to girls, but I was.  I was scared of them saying no, or even worse, laughing at me.  I’m not a bad looking guy, but this fear was very real.  My older brothers would try to help me with this by bribing me to go up to girls and ask them out, but I only successfully did this once…and by successfully I mean I actually asked the girl out; she said no.

The only reason I met my wife is because she had a mutual friend set us up on a blind date after seeing me in a picture.  I would have never “sacked up” and asked her out on my own, but considering I was put in a situation where it would have been very awkward, and quite frankly rude, for me not to, I asked for her number and waited the obligatory 3 days to call her.  Ladies- for an insight into a guys mind during this “waiting period” watch the movie Swingers.

When I first started to haggle I would get the same knots in my stomach as I would when I would be scared to ask a girl out or tell her that I liked her.  I was scared, scared that the salesman or manager might think less of me, scared they would say know, scared they would be offended.  Why was I scared?  I really don’t know, I never had a situation that scarred me, but I think it all stems from my historically low self esteem (now practically gone thanks to my wife!).

Today when I was haggling for a new pair of over-priced running shoes, I happen to be haggling with a cute woman, and it all clicked!  The nervous feeling I would get when wanting to ask a girl out is the same nervous feeling I get when haggling…except haggling is way easier.  Haggling is a confidence builder!

I rarely get turned down when I haggle, and when I do it’s never a big deal, I leave with my pride, and confidence still in tact that I tried, so I have no regrets.  This has built my confidence up greatly.  That is confidence that I could easily turn around into “technique” and confidence for picking up women (not that I ever would, I am very happily married).  I will have to find someone to try this technique on, but I’m positive it will work.  Haggling is the best confidence builder I’ve had…besides getting married.

I implore you all to at least try haggling, whether you get a discount or not it ends up being a rush so it feels good afterwards, but when it does work and you save some money, it builds your confidence, and you get that rush.  Also, as an added bonus, if the salesperson is a member of the opposite sex you can subtly flirt and complement the person to help you haggle!  Pretty soon, haggling will be no big deal, and you can turn that confidence and flirting into picking up members of the opposite sex!

As a disclaimer, use discretion, it may hurt your chances if you haggle on a first date, you don’t want to come across as cheap, even though there is a distinct difference, not everyone understands it.  Later on you can show your frugalness.
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3 responses

19 04 2008
The Career Encourager

Great post. I love to haggle. My DH does not, so I trained him to say “Do you have any internet coupons available at this time?” I know, I know…it’s a strange sounding question but it’s amazing how it works. Last summer we needed to replace our AC/furnace/hot water heater all at once. Not cheap as you can imagine. We had three companies come give us bids. Based on our research, the terms they offered, and references from friends we knew right away who we were going to use and we knew it was a good deal. When my husband called them back, I was at his elbow mouthing “ask about the internet couples.” He looked the other direction. I walked around in front of him. “Ask about the coupons!” I insisted. By now he had already told them we would accept their bid and he didn’t want to back up the conversation. I remained insistent. He groaned and finally sheepishly mumbled “Do you have any internet coupons…” The fellow on the other end paused and said, “Well, uh, I don’t know, uh…I guess I could discount it $300 – would that be okay?” My husband was shocked. I was gleeful! 😉 In light of the overall cost, $300 may not seem like much money, but DH had been ready to pay the original quoted amount. He always says it was the fastest $300 he ever made!

19 04 2008
danielb

Thanks! Haggling is amazing, I love it and it’s a rush. Just like asking someone out!

Also, note that I separated the first part and the second part. So my next post will be ten haggling pointers that were originally with this post!

20 04 2008
Ten Pointers to Successful Haggling « Young and Frugal

[…] « Trouble Getting Dates?…Try Haggling […]

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